In honor of NSTGD’s 1st Bloggiversary today (first post 4/4/07), I will be sharing with you a random sampling of totally true facts* about the reclusive and mysterious wolverine species.

#1. The wolverine is the state animal of Michigan.

#2. Their saliva is an exotic aphrodisiac.

#3. Wolverines are not badgers.

#4. Wolverines cannot eat peas using a knife.

#5. Wolverines can not, contrary to popular opinion, easily be portrayed by british actors.

#6. Former President Gerald Ford was the Michigan football team’s MVP in 1934.

#7. Wolverines thumbs are imposing but NOT opposable.

#8: “Wolverines” anagrams to “wore snivel”.
#8a: Also, “loner wives”.

#9. Mating season is in the summer, but the actual implantation of the embryo in the uterus is stayed until early winter, delaying the development of the fetus.

#10. The title part in “Benji” was originally intended to be played by a wolverine, but unfortunately their salary requirements were beyond the budget of the film.

#11: If a wolverine spots its shadow, that means six more weeks of hiding from wolverines.

#13: Wolverines fear the number 12.

#14. There are 3 sub-species of wolverine: the common Grey Wolverine, the Domesticated Wolverine and the endangered Diamond-clawed Wolverine.

#15: Two out of three dentists prefer not to be mauled by wolverines.

#16: The “secret” ingredient in Aunt Louise’s “wolverine stew” is cinnamon.

#17: Wolverines know how many roads a man must walk down.

#18: Wolverine mythology is exactly like Greek mythology, except Charon does not use a ferry to transport souls across the Styx. He uses a surfboard.

#19: They do not like Pina Coladas. They do not like getting caught in the rain.

#20: Wolverine ate my baby.

#21: It only took 38 wolverines and 37 typewriters to recreate all the works of Shakespeare. (Wolverine #15 used a Blackberry.)

#22: Wolverines hold their own Scrabble National Championship, usually at a Denny’s near the Human version. The letter V has been banned from regulation play, for reasons unknown.

#23: When Wolverines take quizzes in Cosmo, they almost always circle C, which usually means they’re saucy attention whores.

#24: C.M. Coolidge turned to his infamous “Dogs Playing Poker” paintings when his “Wolverines Playing Texas Hold ‘Em” idea fell through. The Wolverines kept check-raising before the flop, and also they ate his cat.

#25: Wolverines are derided by other office animals for their lack of productivity. They do, however, have all the high scores on Minesweeper.

#26: Wolverines make up 7/8th of the Idaho Supreme Court. The lone remaining member is an Elk carcass that they have been feeding on for a week.

*credit to -j. (NSTGD-Commentus-maximus/friend-extraordinare) and mace (fellow blogger/dumbo octopus fanatic) who both long ago collaborated with me to provide some of the completely factual material listed above.