Thank you to Erica, captain of the dearlings brigade, for sharing with me this article (translated from swedish for you).

I invite you to enjoy with me: the Manual for Postmodern Child-Rearing (by Athena Farrokhzad & Tova Gerge) because it tickles my snobby-liberal-arts-education’s theoretical funny bone.

Below are some of my favorites (but read the whole thing, hilarity):

• Rub your child on some carbon paper. Then cut up the paper and stick the pieces to the child’s body. Question the child as an original. Question the child as a copy. Question the carbon paper as a construction.
• If the child claims to be hungry, accuse it of indulging in being-based oppression.
• If your child accuses you of incomprehensibility, then accuse it of logical positivism.
• Lecture your child on the decentralisation of power, on the crumbling of the centre into a domain of autonomous, cross-fertilising peripheries. Talk continuously for several years at a stretch. Punish all forms of interruption and intervention.
• Render the child immune to the fetishisations of visual culture by dysfunctionalising its left eye.

I noticed the following today on swissmiss, and anyone else who’s ever left food in the office fridge only to discover it missing later, can appreciate the pure geniusness of the following as much as I do:

perfection.