Not that this will really surprise you at all, but I have recently created a comprehensive google-alert-feed for the phrase “dogs playing poker”*. This means that anytime anyone ever writes anything at all on the Entire World Wide Web (EWWW) using this phrase, google will send me an email about it; thus placing me on the cutting-edge of the “dogs playing poker” field.

Because I know you care as much as I do, here are some highlights from the past week or so on Dogs Playing Poker (a few of about 30 articles):

February 3rd:

Game Design Essay #1 by “van der beek” (who doesn’t appear to be the actor of dawson’s creek fame, much to my infinite sadness): an attempt to scientifically answer the age-old question “do animals play games?”

February 5th:

Moncton, New Brunswick Classifieds: a local ad in search of a “picture of Dogs Playing Poker in Excellent Condition, Can be framed or unframed”, though it is unclear whether or not this fine-art aficionado would like the painting or a photo of actual dogs playing actual poker. IT IS A MYSTERY!

February 6th:

Dog & Crony Show listing (Pacifica Tribune, Pacifica, CA): Apparently there is an actual band called “Dogs Playing Poker”, and everyone in the SF bay area who also reads my blog, is now officially REQUIRED to go to “Grant & Green” on 2/20 at 8:30pm to let me know if the band lives up to their namesake.

Some kind of enigmatic, possibly-post-modern collection of links to nowhere: blogger Avlsbiogs appreciates linking to the finer things, including “she kick my dog”, “appendicitis symptoms”, “tax incentive solar energy”, “sexing duck” and “top gun fan sites”. (note: I do not recommend actually clicking on any of the links on this page…. unless you want a world of unwanted popups.)

February 7th:

Original Painting Up for Auction in NYC (New York Post) Apparently, the original dogs-playing-poker painting (called “only a pair of deuces” by CM Coolidge will be auctioned off for around $60,000-$80,000. Which is SUCH a bargain.

Today!

Jesus and Dogs-playing-poker: Indianan christian pastor and blogger “gregfish”magically finds a way to incorporate dogs-playing-poker and velvet elvis’ into an online sermon.

**I also have google news alerts for anthropomorphism, my name, pineapple-upside-down cake, and cryptozoology of course.

I just, well, no. NO.

Kitty Wigs, from kittywigs.com:

If this is somehow an acceptable pet accessory, may I request from the pet-crap-producers of the world some dog monocles? I just think my puppy would look pretty darn swanky if she had a monocle.

… just watch.

Meet Indy:

Indy has radar ears:

and an infectious (sometimes both literally and figuratively) grin:

In hopes of being a supportive and forward-thinking friend to Indy, I try to keep up-to-snuff on breakthrough puppy-innovations. I have stumbled across the following in my research:

This is a puppy sex-toy, called “The Hot Doll”, a sort of inflatable-girl-meets-fleshlight for the canine contingent.

Unfortunately for us all, Indy is a lady-dog.

But! Look at this:

Mastermind Dutch scientists have invented “Energique” a dog food that will “eliminate the problem of dog poo” by creating a meat and cereal based product where the dog absorbs 90%, and, well, poos about 10% (only once a week, and in small, dry pellet-form*). I am at once intrigued, and terrified.

*I was unable to find a photo of the scentless pellet-poo. The site is in netherlandese.