As per request and at long last, BEHOLD, the 2nd installment of post-it Film tributes:
(soundtrack: Focus - Hocus Pocus.)
what’s funny is that in making this, I discovered that the plot of weekend at bernie’s is actually quite complicated - I had to ignore the whole bernie’s affair with the gangster’s wife thing and almost the entire romance subplot.
if you liked that, you might possibly also appreciate this tribute to harry and the hendersons.
To avoid cleaning this afternoon, I made a short post-it note tribute to a cryptozoology Film that rarely (if ever) gets the acclaim and respect it deserves:
(soundtrack by the who)
I’m trying to decide if I should do Twins, Weekend at Bernie’s or The Forbidden Dance next.
UPDATE: sometimes flickr is crabby and won’t show my video, it’s also on youtube here (but its uglier/lower-res).
I subscribe to a 3.98 gaflillion (approx) rss feeds.
While catching up, I noticed a link on we-make-money-not-art’s feed to a wired artcle called “a nation of guinea pigs” - which, oh my god, promised to be the most amazing article ever written - A whole nation?! full of guinea pigs?! where? what are their primary exports? is the kinship system lineal or dravidian? etcetera.
and anyway.
the article was obviously not about that, at all*.
but to assuage my intense disappointment, I made the following:
that is all.
*apparently drug companies are exploiting corrupt south asian health regulations to perform questionably ethical clinical trials on lots and lots of resource-deprived people. which is awful. and not to be made fun of.
Hi hello, so I recently discovered the craft-tastic website “Ikea Hacker” and it is giving me hope for creativity and unique-snowflakey-ness in a world full of unfinished pine and a preposterous swedish-meatball-to-person ratio.
here’s my rant:
In my 6-plus years living in and visiting lotsa NYC 20-something-people’s apartments, ikea’s brand lexicon has infested my subconscious. I want to kick myself in the face with smelly soccer cleats every time I accidentally say things like “oh I love your new living room, I didn’t know you could get the poang in periwinkle!” or “you are right, it would be nice if the billy shelves could come with a more leksvik finish.” etc.
my point is that if I have to see identical design everywhere I go*, it would be rad if folks gave their ikea-loot some pieces of flair, and ikea-hacker has lots of great ideas.
here’s how I turned my $13 pine “fira” mini-chest into my very own sparkley-disco-drawers:
materials
instructions:
*yes, I am prone to hyperbole.
I do not think I have ever laughed so belly-achingly as I have while listening to this dramatic reading of a teenage breakup-email last night. A bottomless sea of gratitude to my dearling friend Angel for forwarding this to me. I would like to also take a moment to endorse the firefox internet browser and its built-in spell checking feature.
TURN UP YOUR SPEAKERS FOR THIS.
And, as there was no photo/artwork associated with this post, I will share with you my emosaurus drawing, though it is only somewhat relevant:
so I found this super-neat and mathtational online freelance-hourly-rate-calculator (via swissmiss).
It asks you to enter in all of your yearly costs, both personal and business, your desired work/vacation schedule and how much of a profit you’d like to make, and then let’s you know what you would need to charge per hour to make that happen.
MY IMAGINARY LIFE SCENARIO: Freelance Trampoline-Tester
BUSINESS COSTS/YEAR:
How much is your annual Office Rent? $48,000: for a warehouse in queens with 26ft ceiling (for maximum bounce-capacity).
How much do you spend annually on Travel? $5,000: a few business trips to trampoline expo’s I imagine.
How much do you spend each year on Software? $0: pshah.
How much do you spend each year on Communications? $1200: internet + cell phone + handsfree ear piece, so I can conference call mid-air.
How much does your annual Insurance cost? $10,000: totally making this up, but I imagine trampoline-testing might require ample insurance…
How much do you need to spend on Legal Fees? $0: nothing says “oooh, great idea! no really.” like deciding to represent yourself.
How much do you need to spend on Accountancy Fees? blablabla boring question, next.
How much will your Office Supplies cost annually? $2350 = $350 (several pairs of skid-resistant jumping socks) + $2000 (knee pads/helmet/mouthguard/parachute), because Safety First.
How much will you be spending on Advertising and Promotions? $22,500 (for 5 sky-writing campaigns at $4,500 per flight).
PERSONAL COSTS/YEAR:
How much is your annual Rent / Mortgage payments? $16,000 = $10,000 to build my treehouse (I found a tree house construction company in philly) + $6000/year (a guess on what someone might charge me to rent their backyard tree in NYC at $500/month)
What is your annual budget for Daily Expenses? $20,000 = since it is probable that I will not have electricity in my tree house, and since fire+trees=no-good, I will be dining exclusively on food thats require no refrigeration and no cooking, and takeout. so let’s say $10,000 on food + $10,000 for other-important-life-stuffs, like ships-in-bottles and the like.
How much do you intend to save for your Retirement Account? $15,000 (hey, why not?)
How much do you spend each year on Occasional Expenses? $13,500 In this imaginary life, I’ll obviously want to take taxidermy classes (Here they cost $3500) + I will take a month long vacation to the Canary Islands (approx. $10,000).
WORK SCHEDULE
How many days a week do you work on average? 4 days. when you work for yourself you create your own schedule, gosh darn it.
How many days of vacation do you need annually? 30 days. (for the canary islands trip)
How many sick and personal days do you need annually? 20 days (just in case I fall out of the tree house, or get a heart attack from eating only take-out)
How many public and religious holidays? 31 days (though no religious holidays will be observed, I will take an entire month off to celebrate Bastille Day.)
How many hours do you work a day on average? 7 hours (4 hours bouncing, 1 hour lunching, and 2 hours administrating)
Approximately what percentage of hours can you actually bill? 85%
Enter a Dollar amount of Savings/Profit you’d like to make each year Profit is the money above what it costs just to run your business and live, what extra cash do you wish to earn: $1,000,000 (listen here, buster, I’ve been working for non-profits all this time, allow me this one imaginary moment of corporate greed!)
AND FINALLY,
To live this magical life, I would need to charge a mere $1533.18 p/hr. Easy.
… is inversely related to the growth of love.
I created the above addition to the “Song Charts” flickr pool today. Here are some of my favorites from the group:
credit to swissmiss for sharing the link.
this is what inevitably happens when I am at my home, alone, for the first time in 2 weeks:
(created for an interwebs community that I have been known to frequent for a while, that is closing down next month.)
*credit to -j.-dear for the name.
Because you can never have enough absurd top-10 lists…
Top 10 Instruments for a Candy-Band (you know, just in case)
runners up:
* list compiled with the creative-geniusness of the same group of interwebs-friends that helped created the ‘c is clambulance driver‘ animal-professions list. many thanks to all.
my dear friend sarah introduced me to mock apple pie long ago, and today, when I realized that I had 3 ready-pie shells, no fresh ingredients and lots of time, I decided to make one.
the recipe was written by the ritz crackers people during WW2, when apples were in short supply, and incredibly expensive. basically, the specific combination of sugar (sucrose! oooo science), water and cream-of-tartar (potassium bitartrate, KC4H5O6!! a weak salt-like acid byproduct of grapes during the wine-making process) when boiled with crackers and cinnamon, and put in a pie shell, tastes deceptively like apple pie.
but really though, the most delightful thing about it, besides that it tastes great and is absurdly cheap/easy to make, is the moment when you tell your friends (after they have said how much they are enjoying your freshly made apple pie), that it has no apples in it. priceless.
Mock Apple Pie
ingredients:
1. Pre-heat oven to 400° F.
2. Boil the water in a big pot.
3. While the water is heating, mix the sugar and the cream of tartar together.*
4. if you are still waiting for the water to boil, check to make sure the stovetop is actually on, if its not, the pilot light may have gone out and your kitchen might be full of gas. not that this happened to me just now. certainly I would notice something like that immediately.
5. Add the mixture to the water after it is boiling, a little at a time, stirring constantly.
6. Add one cracker at a time into the pot.
7. Boil for about 3 minutes, but do not stir, instead of stirring, consider doing the hand jive or that “here is the church, here is the steeple blablabla people” thing to otherwise occupy your stir-happy hands.
8. Carefully pour the mixture into the pie crust.
9. Sprinkle a little cinnamon on top of the pie filling.
10. Dab butter evenly over the filling.
11. Bake in a pre-heated oven for about 15 minutes.
12. Let it cool before you eat it, unless you enjoy burning the roof of your mouth.**
13. Slice it, put it on a plate, consider ice cream carefully…. mmm. ice cream…
14. Serve the pie to at least one person who has no clue that it has no apples, just to see their reaction when you tell ‘em. Here is my dearlingest friend brendan’s “what do you mean it doesn’t have any apples in it” face:
the end.
*yes, I am aware that this particular stage (and many of the others) in the process do not actually need a photo. shutyourtrap.
**if the top of your mouth is the ‘roof’, does that make the bottom “the floor” of your mouth or “the foundation”? is your tounge the carpet/area-rug? nevermind. ignore me.
dearest dears of the interweb,
I apologize muchly that I have been absent for so long, but clearly, as is evident below, I had very Important Things to do in sunny Virginia over the holidays:
blame suburbia.
In 3rd grade, my teacher picked a random word from the dictionary for each student and asked us to write a poem based on that word. My word was “agency”.
I have far too much time on my hands:
in a delirious exhausted haze after work at my volunteer gig, I mistakenly copied 200 flyers referencing an “iPod nana”. pretty much the greatest accident of all time, after my brother*. I imagine that an iPod nana would give you cookies or remind you to floss.
*I’m just kidding, jamie…
