This body modification trend* is in direct competition with face-tattoos, really-big-muscles and objectivism for the #1 position in my “Trying Super Hard to Seem Badass But Instead Making Meredith Giggle Uncontrollably”** list.

Behold! Tooth Tattoos:

(the laughing + teeth theme reminded me of the dental hyenist of my long lost animal-abecedarium project.)

*probably not a trend at all.

**with one exception, the amy winehouse tooth is legitimately frightening:

More submissions to the “c is for clambulance driver” professionanimals abecedarium!

thank you to Mace for her Crabbi:

and to Katy for her wrestle-ready Lucheduck-e:

2 more submissions have arrived!

katy’s fortuna teller:

josh’s mafia donkey:

An update on our progress (9 letters down, 17! to go)

• B is for Barristercuda
• C is for Clambulance Driver and Cowboyster
• D is for Dental Hyenist
• F is for Fortuna Teller
• L is for Lumberjackass
• M is for Mafia Donkey
• P is for Prostiturtle and Psykoalagist and Pachydermatologist
• R is for Rottwelder
• S is for Stork Broker and Salamanwhore and Salesmanatee

Refer to the full list to choose animals from the missing letters…

Thank you to edwina for the lone cowboyster…

…and to j for her lovely handdrawn Lumberjackass:

and I did a barristercuda, for old times sakes:

3 more submissions… of a more ‘mature’ nature…

marlene’s lusty salamanwhore:

an amphibious brothel of prostiturtles, by ben and helen*:

*several of you have expressed your concerns regarding photoshop-skills or lack there of…but! worry not! helen’s oh-so-classy prostiturtle was given to me as a pencil drawing on paper (turtle_original.jpg), I photoshopped it to match the rest… my point is, ALL sorts of artwork are more than welcome, you do not need fancy-pants-digital-graphics-know-how.

many thanks to josh and evan for the ever-so-infinitely-lovely pachydermatologist, stork broker and dental hyenist….

keep sending them in folks…

Please draw/photoshop/sculpt/decoupage any of the 200-some leftover hybrid Animal-Jobs from the “C is for Clambulance Driver” post. Together we will create an entire eco-occupation-system.

Please link your artwork in this thread, or email it to me.

* Keep the width no bigger than 575 pixels.

Update:

The following professianimals are already claimed:

Salamanwhore (done!)
Mafia Donkey (done!)
Barristercuda (done!)
Kindersharken teacher
Luchaduke
Fortuna Teller (done!)
Prostiturtle (done! twice!)
astrologerbil
Pornstar-fish
Dental hyenist (done!)
Sturgeon General
Lynxguistics analizard
Rodentist
Storkbroker (done!)
Pachydermatologist (done!)
Anemoneurologist
lumberjackass (done!)
squideogame designer
velociraptour guide
zeburgler
sharkitecht
grasshopperator
fireflibrarian

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I’m not sure I will be able to offer a suitable explanation for the following. It just is. accept it. move on.

I may or may not continue to finish the entire alphabet.

The Full List of Animals/Professions*:

*This list was compiled with the help of 15 or so friends who devoted the majority of their workday in support of this noble (nobull?) endeavor.

UPDATE! Join the movement, draw your own.