sasquatch on mars? don’t be so sure…
The news and the interwebs have been all a-flutter with NASA’s release yesterday of the photo below, very clearly showing a humanoid “sasquatchy” thing mid-leisurely-stroll in the desertous wastelands of Mars.
As a no-less-than-thoroughly-enthusiastic fan of both generalized cryptozoology and the elusive sasquatch, as well as a proud collector of sasquatch cinema, my first thoughts were: “OH SWEET MARY H. CHRIST, my prayers have been answered! Bust out the bubbly, there is proof of bigfoot’s existence! and OMG! ALIENS! yay!! no. SUPER yay.”
That is… until I took a closer look at the larger picture – I noticed a familiar face in another mass near the “sasquatch”:
If you look at the photo above it appears obvious that the popular focus on the “sasquatch” is merely a ruse to conceal the fact that, after significant budget cuts in a weakened economy, NASA decided to sell Mars to George Lucas, who subsequently colonized the planet with popular Star Wars creatures.
BUT! as seamless an explanation as that may be, you mustn’t be so easily convinced, my dearlings… NASA also released the following somewhat-zoomed-in photo…
With amateur CSI-viewer talents, super-sleuth-skills and Science ™ in tow, I felt it necessary to zoom in closer, only to discover that, no, it is neither Chewbacca, nor a sasquatch.
It is Teen Wolf.
Yes, David Bowie, there is Life on Mars.
Underneath all that hair, you’re still a dork, Scott.
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We’re gonna have to nuke that planet from orbit.
Just to be sure.
I’ll start preparing the military, you start contacting MJ Fox’s family.
if we check back in, oh, approximately two years from now, will we find Teen Wolf Too?
edwina – probably not, jason bateman could never live anywhere that banana’s do not grow naturally.
true. there’s always money in the banana stand! ALWAYS
Is that from Teen Wolf or Teen Wolf Also?
will – definitely not from Teen Wolf Also, but it’s possibly from “Look Who’s Teen Wolf Now: The Reckoning”.
I was going to say it was the SETI YETI, but clearly the truth is herein revealed. Magnificent.
I’m just wondering how teen wolf plans to surf atop his blue work van, considering the terrain and all!
By the by: this is by far my favorite thing you have posted on this to date!
-j. – i just can’t stop with the giggling about “SETI YETI”. i just can’t stop.
my brother, from my family: true, but I also imagine that the gravity on mars might have a positive affect on his ability to play basketball.
At further glance, meredith, there seems to be an entire space menagerie!
http://www.unmannedspaceflight.com/index.php?act=attach&type=post&id=13308
jamie – if there isn’t a band called space menagerie yet, I trust you will take care of that.
I don’t know who you are, but I hope that you have children someday and that they entirely repopulate the earth.
dear david from the internet: thank you. though that is a terrifying concept indeed.
[...] 4) In high school, I purchased an acre of land on mars (with some friends) where I hope to retire and hang out with teenwolf. [...]