dearest dears of the interweb,

I apologize muchly that I have been absent for so long, but clearly, as is evident below, I had very Important Things to do in sunny Virginia over the holidays:

blame suburbia.

lucky bug. I guess I just thought this was cute. I don’t really have much else to say about it.

called “amor & morte” from the-home-project.

via notcot.

as foretold, here are even more eminently purchasable present options:

Beasts on Plates: several months ago, I purchased a shiny-red glass plate with a grizzly bear etched into it from etsy seller “mountain gold“, and I have just discovered that they also have a MOOSE plate! so if you bought this plate we would be fraternal plate-twins. we could start the “large furry beasts of the tundra on plates” club and meet monthly. I’m just sayin’:

DIY Gifts:

A. Print-on-Demand: with the plethora* of print-on-demand, self-publishing services out there today, you can design your own loot and get it made without having to buy in bulk quantities to make it affordable. on lulu.com, you can publish your own books, calendars, posters etc. I’m partial to the photobook “modern theme” option (this year, I printed a 25-page hardback photo-album, of equal quality to anything you might find on the B&N discount book display near the registers, for me mum). OR! on cafepress.com, there are ever-so-very-many ridiculous products onto which you can slap your image/design (think dog-shirts, truckers hats, onesies, throw pillows, as well as tshirts/bags/etc). I gave my darlingest friend edwina, buttons with her manfriend’s face on them:

also, look! a donkey thong!

B. Terrariums! I have recently become enamored of these little jars of botanical-whimsy. Just find a fish bowl or a vintage jar (here or here or here), and get some succulent plant life (here), and maybe go nuts and put little plastic dinosaurs in it, or a donkey (as seen below)…

Eggpants: I know I know, I’ve talked about these before, but seriously, just look at them, everyone should own these. everyone ever.

==UPDATE==
Conjoined Triplets Finger Puppet & Huggable Prescriptions: I sometimes forget just how talented-meets-bizarre many of my friends are… these plush-tastic toys are by claire-darling and can be found in her etsy-shop.

*“would you say I have a plethora of pinatas?” …you know what, forget everything I’ve said, just buy everyone you know a copy of the three amigos on dvd.

Welcome to the very first Official NSTGD HGG*! In case you run out of gift-ideas for your loved ones, may I humbly recommend the following:

the vladmaster: thank you to my dear friend miss maggie, winner of the annual Miss Maggie Pageant, for sharing her vladmaster with me.

“Vladmasters are handmade View-Master™ reels designed, photographed, and hand-assembled by Vladimir. They make use of toys, neglected household objects, and odd ephemera to tell 28-picture tales of train chases, missing steam shovels, disastrous dinner parties, and overly adventurous cockroaches”.

For under $25, you receive a viewmaster, a mini-cd soundtrack and bizarre-and-beautifully-photographed 3-d stories. I seriously can not recommend this more.

letterpress BEAR ATTACK xmas cards: because not everyone gets a real present and because everyone likes bears.

stainless steel wrenchware: it’s both practical AND practical, in ONE.

buy art!: encourage your friends to take down their college movie-posters and put up some non-vangogh art. for affordable prints by not-yet-so-famous artists/illustrators, I recommend thumbtackpress, etsy, redprairiepress, tinyshowcase, poppytalkhandmade or keepcalm. some favorites:

chris silas neal: (i have this one on my wall, I call it “oh thank heavens I remembered to wear my scarf”)

alyson fox. i love the cape so so so much:

ashley goldberg: bring on the whimsy!

rachel bone, the harbingers, or little-treeladies-talking-on-the-telephone = happiness:

DONATE SOMEWHERE RAD: I know, I know… some folks get all-sorts-of-disappointed when they get one of those “a donation was made in your name” cards instead of the 52-inch dual-core flat-screen low-fat iFrappucino-maker that they wanted… but really, if they are the sort of people who would feel that way, they didn’t deserve a present in the first place. I tend to lean towards donating to local, community-based organizations, instead of the giant-ones, and since I am on the board of a local nonprofit, I am going to pimp them out to you right here and now: the center for anti-violence education (CAE). I was on the staff for 2 years and have been on the board for over 3, and no words can adequately describe the depth of positive change this organization has instilled in the thousands of participating violence survivors, teens, and children both as individuals and as a community. even $15 means something. that’s like one takeout lunch in soho, if you tip well. anyway, donate here. < / earnesty >.

a ship in a bottle: it’s possible that only I would want this. search for them on ebay, you will not be disappointed.

MORE to come later this week….

* YCNHTMA!**

** you can never have too many acronyms.

(context here)

I just.. well.. I really can’t explain… but… I mean, I find this so infinitely hilarity-inducing… what could possibly bring more joy in this world than a ZAMBONI ON FIRE ON ICE? what? I dare you to think of a single thing.*

*ok, maybe a flying bouncy castle filled with narwhals would bring more joy. but just barely.