an amphibious brothel of prostiturtles, by ben and helen*:
*several of you have expressed your concerns regarding photoshop-skills or lack there of…but! worry not! helen’s oh-so-classy prostiturtle was given to me as a pencil drawing on paper (turtle_original.jpg), I photoshopped it to match the rest… my point is, ALL sorts of artwork are more than welcome, you do not need fancy-pants-digital-graphics-know-how.
Please draw/photoshop/sculpt/decoupage any of the 200-some leftover hybrid Animal-Jobs from the “C is for Clambulance Driver” post. Together we will create an entire eco-occupation-system.
Please link your artwork in this thread, or email it to me.
* Keep the width no bigger than 575 pixels.
Update:
The following professianimals are already claimed:
from the site: “if you sleep with the windows open you might find yourself running round the garden in your jimjams (no way to wake up) and may frighten the neighbourhood dogs.”
The mayor of Sao Paulo, Brazil (with somewhere between 11 and 29 million residents depending on where you draw your city-borders) passed a “Clean City” bill last year that removed all public advertising, to get rid of visual pollution…
I know, I know, it’s not funny or anything. whatever. read the article on Design Verb, pretty durn fascinating.
Excerpt from an interview with Vinicius Galvao (reporter for Folha de Sao Paulo, Brazil’s largest newspaper):
BOB GARFIELD (interview): I’ve seen photos of the city, and it’s amazing to see this sprawling metropolis completely devoid of signage, completely devoid of logos and bright lights and so forth. What did Sao Paulo look like up until the ban took place?
VINICIUS GALVAO: Sao Paulo’s a very vertical city. That makes it very frenetic. You couldn’t even realize the architecture of the old buildings, because all the buildings, all the houses were just covered with billboards and logos and propaganda. And there was no criteria.
And now it’s amazing. They uncovered a lot of problems the city had that we never realized. For example, there are some favelas, which are the shantytowns. I wrote a big story in my newspaper today that in a lot of parts of the city we never realized there was a big shantytown. People were shocked because they never saw that before, just because there were a lot of billboards covering the area.
In another episode of “crocodile fanatics making less-than-wise decisions regarding proximity to wildlife”, dr. brady barr took a crocodile head, a canvas/metal reptile-camouflage garb smeared in hippopotamus poo, and frolicked amongst his crocodile-brethren.
More Crocodile-Disguises:
* Roger Moore, in the Bond Classic “Octopussy“, uses a one-man crocodile-submarine to cross a croc-infested lake in India.
* Next time, THIS guy will entire the crocodile lair:
* Crocodile-skin-clothes, eww. Maybe if the woman below (in a Dolce & Gabbana, croc-skin-lined coat) were also wearing these shoes, this belt, and this crocodile-clutch, she could also be confused for the real thing.
* Sadly, though they are the first two people you might think of, neither Steve Irwin (The Crocodile Hunter) nor Paul Hogan (Crocodile Dundee) technically fit within this category.
* Perhaps only tangentially relevant, I have to share the first photo result from a google image search of “man dressed as crocodile”:
“Google Braille” acrylic on canvas (130 * 89 cm) January 4 2006.
*I had planned on making a smarty-pants reference to Isaac Newton in the subject, something about how these artists give virtual spaces mass/gravity, and are thus affected by the laws of mechanics… But I accidentally Newton-John’d it instead, apologies all around.
//little people - a tiny street art project// (”little handpainted people, left in london to fend for themselves”). I could look at only these photos for 38.84 years and never ever be bored.
Melting-ice-fetishists, evaporation-enthusiasts, and bipolar-polar-environmentalists can now communicate, one-on-one with a dying glacier, for the cost of an international call: 07758 225698
London artist, Katie Paterson, with the help of Virgin Mobile and Dolphinear, installed a waterproof hydro-phone into the icy lagoon surrounding a soon-to-be-melted glacier.
But! the exhibit and phone lines close at the end of today (june 13th) so call right now. use the company phone. go ahead. 07758 225698
“a social experiment that seeks to address individual mind power and the potential for human/plant communication. The Vital Psigns installation includes three plants (positive, negative, and control) receiving equal soil, water, and light. Visitors are invited to take a few moments to relax in the presence of the plants and attempt to affect their growth using their mental energies. The cumulative effect on the plants over the course of the experiment is assessed at the close of the exhibition.”
For more info on the study ofPsychobotany*, visit their website, because, holy crap, sentient plants are where-its-at.
Anthropomorphic Botany/the reading list:
Dante’s Inferno (people who commit suicide turn into talking trees in hell)
The Secret Life of Plants (basically the bible of psychobotany)
Le Petit Prince (if memory serves, he lives on a moon with a talking rose)
The Last Unicorn (a lusty tree falls in love with a wizard)
Lord of the Rings (the ents)
The Marzipan Pig (including a sentient, wistful hibiscus)
Anthropomorphic Botany/the film series:
Poltergeist (a tree comes to life and attempts to eat a child)
The Wizard of Oz (more mean trees)
Little Shop of Horrors (feed me, seymour)
Alice in Wonderland (singing smiling pansies)
Babes in Toyland (what is it with all the mean trees?)
Adele Hasn’t Had Her Dinner Yet (1977 film about a carnivorous plant)
* Psychobotany attempts to cultivate a cultural terrain that includes a wide array of efforts at human/plant communication. Artists, scientists, subcultures, religions, activists, and visionaries all share plots in the field of Psychobotany. Combining elements of scientific truth, spiritual beliefs, aesthetic savvy, and social expression, Psychobotany is a fertile ground where the diverse cultural roots of human/plant communication can take hold.
With father’s day around the corner, I have been frantically searching for the perfect “dad” gift. Unfortunately for me, I have already given him every large coffee-table-book on motorcycles currently in print and he already owns both the book and DVD for “the da vinci code”.
After some real soul-searching, and internet-searching, I have found the perfect gift.
A solid-resin, limited-edition table-top Sasquatch Bust (not the diet Sam’s cola).
I know what you are thinking: “oh my heavens above, please let this not be the only one left, my dad needs one too!” Don’t fret, my friends. Apparently, he has quite a few of them:
